BRUNIYUKI of NORTH

It’s been 5 months since the last time I saw civilization. Siguro naman you get my drift?! I don’t wanna sound odd pero all these months I’ve visited the hospital so many times and kakasawa na ang hospital-house-hospital-house routine. November was the most dreadful month for me since I caught pneumonia despite my shots prior to my radiation session. It was so bad I lost so much weight that time and only God knows what my fucked-up doctors tried to do when they decided to put me on another cycle of strong chemo drugs that my condition got so bad. I just couldn’t imagine what they were trying to do fixing me up with the worst smelling and strongest antibiotics for pneumonia then giving me uber strong chemo drugs at the same time. and with that kumakaripas na pagpatak ng metro sa aking hospital bill that I guess made the whole condition worse. my mom and edsel tells me constantly not to think about the whole finance thing so that i wouldnt get affected (yeah right). “just think about your health and we will solve the problem” as they say. It was never easy not to worry–i mean Hellooo?!?! a half a million in 3 weeks stay? then you go back in 2 weeks time and there goes another hundred, and a hundred more…. it was never ending and to top it off….my condition got worse. it was bad. when all the medicine is eating up your body, i tell you it slows you down, makes you feel weak, and your constantly monitoring your blood count as always. in my entire life i never felt anymore weaker. parang kang uugod ugod na lola na hindi makaligo magisa. to eat is your top priority while having your blood extracted nang 1 trial lang is like passing the toughest exam in your life. your veins get weak and second nature na sayo ang turok na pinaka hate ko since i was a kid. oh well…
Heaven only knows. Its right. We transferred to another hospital, got myself a new doctor. Out ang pneumonia ko sa new doctor and she is now giving me a lighter type of chemo. I couldn’t say hindi na ako buhay lola pero im slowly gaining my strength. Im still not allowed to go malling nor to dine out. Still the same old hospital-house routine but im happy. still.
The sporty girl in me still want to do so many things. Mag box, mag yoga, at kung ano ano pa. Even my favorite priest told me that God has so much plan that He gave me “this” at an early stage of my life.
Napakaraming bawal but im ok with it. I just miss so many food and places that I jot them down so when that time comes, ika nga ni Arnold…. I’ll be back…. Right now ang pinaka nakaka tanggal stress for me is to think about all the food that i miss the most……naku, top of my list are my fave food in singapore– beef and seafood hor fun near my place at bukit panjang and bukit panjang mall’s kopitiam especially my usual dinner of vegetable curry with bread, mee goreng, kwayteow. nakoooo ano pa ba…. i miss the morning roti prata i often share with my indian flatmates at Hillview Condo. And our afternoon walk at the nearby indian resto for my Masala Dosai meal (yummmyyyy!) I won’t forget the hainanese chicken rice and duck rice of singapore and hong kong (in that order). the late night kwayteow craviings at bugis…hay nako nakaka miss.
And ofcourse how can i ever forget my fave food in Manila. sharing a huge bowl of grilled chicken caesar salad with my college friends at Friday’s (the best). my fave persian (berouz) combo of grilled beef, bread, humus, ox brain, and veggies. ang isaw-bbq sa project 6 (nako poh!!!) Don Hen’s buffalo wings with killer white sauce. Saisaki’s one-to- sawa Salmon Sashimi (anak ng tucha!) and my fave japanese combo of miso soup, gyoza, and kani salad (the best).
These are the things that make me runnin’. Ito lang at si edsel ang nagpapakilig saken. hehehhe. Marami pa akong siguradong na miss pero im sure they all make me feel the same. it makes me happy and im happy to be happy. Thank you God.

a year ago i was on self medication. ngayon hindi na.

a year ago ang dami kong napuntahang lugar, ngayon wala na.

a year ago i had so many crazy things to think about–wala naman palang kwenta, ngayon i only have myself to think about.

one year ago, i was clueless, carefree. that was me.

time to relax.enjoy.see more people,places,do things. pray. reflect and above all, time to change bad eating habits (huhuhuhuhu). no more fancy stuff. no more processed food. no more spicy food. goodbye hotdogs…(huhuhuhuhu). good bye tasty longganisa and tocino. goodbye salty chips…(huhuhuhu)….whats weird is my doctor adviced me to start drinking coffee (which i hated before). avoid daw over polluted areas and avoid polluted people. (yan tama yan!).mag kape lang.walang yosi. (i dont naman talaga?)
6 months of therapy equals a whole new way of living. i am recently on a BIG BREAK from all treatments. We’ll see again on January what progress I made from my 6 mos. of Chemo and Radiation. Im happy to announce that I am slowly gaining my strength, as in my PRE-chemo days strength ha? enjoy brisk walking. speedbag. stretching. free weights. ab work. For now, lets have fun the clean way. tangina gusto ko na magboxing!!!!

it hurts whenever i hear people complain on certain things–how they look, pag trafik, pag may nadapa, pag di nasunod ang diet, bad hair day, and the list goes on and on……i just hope they see life now as i see it. when i say i live life each day, i literally mean it! since my first therapy last april, i am living the longest 3 months of my life. would you believe that i look forward to quick road trips even just along our village? it excites me whenever i am ok to go for long walks sa mall or ok to watch a movie (which is usually on my 2nd week after every cycle so im not so weak to face the public and hopefully not to catch any type of viral infection). but above all this i know its going to end,august 10 is my last chemo session–then ill go for radiation naman. phewwww! life really is surprising. my ct scan shows of my positive regression so thats good news for me. so for those who like to complain, think twice… smile,thank Him, then unselfishly pray for me

its been ages since i wrote something here. a lot as in "A LOT" of important-eventful-events-if-i-may-call-’em" and now is the only time i can share them with you. I could not find a perfect title for this blog so ive decided to use the word "untitled" for it best fits the title (do i make sense here??!)  my chinese horoscope says that year 2006 is going to be my best year ever. All people born on the year of the horse, will have a successful career this year either business, love, whatever! the works!!

Number 1. Feb, 2006 -ok…so for a start, edsel and i opened a small business and in weeks time–boom! the business was doing pretty well. in my mind i was telling myself, "aba! mukang tama nga ang horoscope ko!?" i was so busy and let me say "contented" with what i was doing for some time.

Number 2. March 26, 2006-Our 7th anniversary came and it turned out to be OUR ENGAGEMENT. YES! as i told most of my "GURL-FRIENDS", after years and years of being together, edsel has finally decided to give me "that" ring! the next step would be is to save up for our dream wedding and that would probably take us another 10 years hehehhe. at the back of my mind "Aba! mukang totoo nga talaga ang horoscope ko!??"

Number 3. April, 2006- Now for a change, instead of the usual good news-good event, I am hearing the MOST unexpected news of my life…after so many lab tests, blood samples, a minor surgery, cat-scans, i was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma, It’s cancer of the lymphnodes. My Oncologist told me I didnt get it from eating anything, nor were my genes to be blamed. I dont want to trace it now why I had it, what i did, or what i did not do about it coz honestly i didnt feel i had it inside me not until my lower neck got swollen (i thought all the while was due to my on-and-off cough since december of 2005). As my doctor explained to me what’s gonna happen, i held on to my hair and first thought of getting a mohawk before anything shit happens to my hair.

This blog is not about the latter part event, I will write back soon and tell you if i really got my dream hairstyle. That chinese horoscope really got me. I guess I still have to believe it. two good things out of one big news must not put me down. I have great faith that by the end of this year, GREAT news will pour.

its been ages since i wrote something here. a lot as in "A LOT" of important-eventful-events-if-i-may-call-’em" and now is the only time i can share them with you. I could not find a perfect title for this blog so ive decided to use the word "untitled" for it best fits the title (do i make sense here??!)  my chinese horoscope says that year 2006 is going to be my best year ever. All people born on the year of the horse, will have a successful career this year either business, love, whatever! the works!!

Number 1. Feb, 2006 -ok…so for a start, edsel and i opened a small business and in weeks time–boom! the business was doing pretty well. in my mind i was telling myself, "aba! mukang tama nga ang horoscope ko!?" i was so busy and let me say "contented" with what i was doing for some time.

Number 2. March 26, 2006-Our 7th anniversary came and it turned out to be OUR ENGAGEMENT. YES! as i told most of my "GURL-FRIENDS", after years and years of being together, edsel has finally decided to give me "that" ring! the next step would be is to save up for our dream wedding and that would probably take us another 10 years hehehhe. at the back of my mind "Aba! mukang totoo nga talaga ang horoscope ko!??"

Number 3. April, 2006- Now for a change, instead of the usual good news-good event, I am hearing the MOST unexpected news of my life…after so many lab tests, blood samples, a minor surgery, cat-scans, i was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma, It’s cancer of the lymphnodes. My Oncologist told me I didnt get it from eating anything, nor were my genes to be blamed. I dont want to trace it now why I had it, what i did, or what i did not do about it coz honestly i didnt feel i had it inside me not until my lower neck got swollen (i thought all the while was due to my on-and-off cough since december of 2005). As my doctor explained to me what’s gonna happen, i held on to my hair and first thought of getting a mohawk before anything shit happens to my hair.

This blog is not about the latter part event, I will write back soon and tell you if i really got my dream hairstyle. That chinese horoscope really got me. I guess I still have to believe it. two good things out of one big news must not put me down. I have great faith that by the end of this year, GREAT news will pour.

OH MY!!!! GOODY GOODY GOSH! Constantine is here!!! My favorite Ai is here in Manila…..  :) 

we’ve (edsel and moi) just recently watched “the perfect catch”, the romantic-comedy flick starring drew barrymore & jimmy fallon… both of us (edsel and moi ofcourse) in the mood for a last-full-show-lets-hold-hands-and-cuddle night, i guess i chose the “perfect movie” for that “perfect moment”. we both felt the movie was somewhat really close to “OUR” own. One of the biggest surprise came at the very first scene where Jimmy Fallon’s character–Ben Wrightman, was seen driving his LIGHT BLUE BEETLE. hahahha! i was surprised, and happy…coz i knew that edsel was glad to see how his car looks on big screen, i really felt he was “kileeegggg!” we both said, “ang galeng noh?!?!? parang si volkseewww… hehehehe…

i never knew that nerves could also undergo trauma. strange isn’t it?! whenever i feel pain, i let it pass…it started with an uneasy left power hook. my physical therapist told me i have to rest…stop punching for a while…i need a break. after how many p.t sessions, im starting to feel comfortable again. i hated biology during highschool, so when she described to me all the nerves and muscles on my shoulder & explained to me everything, i looked at her –dazed and confused. i don’t care what the exact name of my tense muscle was, i was more concern to know when i could get back on the ring. but after all the massage, stretching, strength training, ultrasound, hot and cold pack, etc. i have come to realize that our body needs a little bit more of the attention, and for my lesson….forget about ignoring.

burrrrrr!!! its cold. feeling lazy. i need to do work. go to school. hit the gym. box-box-box. hug and walk the dogs. watch basketball games. Mrt to save gas. Save money. Watch TV. think think think. do things creatively. answer my cell. mingle with friends. SMS everyone. read. think and creat. be busy. eat right. sleep.